We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
