So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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