youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
