So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
