I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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