don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
