oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
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He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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