Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
