Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
