Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
