I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
