i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize