Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
