Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
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So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
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Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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