plz talk dirty to me
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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