Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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