nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize