Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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