a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
