i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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