she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
