I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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