Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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