how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
