Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
