Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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