Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize