I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
