He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
