do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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