I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I am mentally ready for anal.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
