What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
