Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
