New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
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