i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
