i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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