So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
