I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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