I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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