Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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