I feel like I'm in dance class right now
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
