Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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