i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Randomize
