I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
