Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I can't turn off my feet"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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