it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
