Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
it's like iHOP with fire
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
