somebody snuck up and got me drunk
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
