the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
