Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize