OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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