My nipple is on Facebook.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
