i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Randomize
