Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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