Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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