he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
