I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
