My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Even my vagina gasped.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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