You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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