New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Randomize
