He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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