You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
