Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
