I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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