I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
